I know exactly how you feel, I had one of those awful days yesterday thinking that my life is a fraction of what I want it to be, and on the health side there seems no quick fix to get better. My mind then turns over all the sad things in its life...and I felt worse and worse, crying and moaning. You should see your doctor like rdm advices, I cant argue with that. But later in the day yesterday, I stopped feeling sorry for myself and I thought more about what I am grateful for in life. I made a list of 10 things.
A husband who loves me
A roof over my head ..unlike refugees..the homeless and dispossessed
Time to pursue anything I want in the peace of my own home
A garden I can potter about in
My two lovely pets
Books to read
Access to Internet and phone to find out about anything ... I do know people without a telephone line
Abundant food and water .... there are camps of people all over the world without this basic necessity
A beach nearby I can walk along
Freedom... some people dont even possess the basic human right
As I wrote I felt psychologically better, a little uplifted, like a dark cloud had blown away. And one thing I refuse to give up hope about, is that I am here for a purpose. I am not quite sure what that purpose is, and that’s o.k. We can’t give up hope that one day, it will all make complete sense. Hang on in there until that dark cloud has blown over.