fear of not sleeping and feeling even worse

[lili2701]

Do you also have the fear of not sleeping thus being even worse?

I started being ill when I had to work in a bakery as a student. Before being ill, I was insomniac every time I had to work because I had to get up very early. When I started feeling exhausted, the insomnias worsened because I was scared not to sleep and feel even worse. Now whenever I have to do sthg important, I'm scared not to sleep resulting in not sleeping and feeling so bad I almost have to cancel what I have to do. No one understands except CFS people because they don't get how u can feel so bad because of not sleeping. When I explain it's because i'm ill and then not sleeping makes me even worse they still don't get it.

How do u break this fear of not sleeping? cos in the end I'm triggering this all by myself, by my own stupid fears and I know it but it's still there and it drives me mad!!!!!!!!

I'm doing EFT to help me and Gupta but I guess my amygdala is in high alert!
grrr damn it!

[niaholt]

I used to be really bad at this. Now I do lots of breathing exercises....in for 4 hold and out for 5 hold to calm my body every day before I get up...maybe for 45 mins....thru the day too What i was doing wrong with Soften and Flow was I was not breathing in enough.

Now when I have an appointment I say to myself " I dont care if I cant get to this appointment....the world is not going to fall in if I have to cancel.... even if I really want to go I take the excitement pleasure from it, and make it small...convince the brain I am in control, not the EVENT. The more I said " I really want to go and see so and so, the more my amygdala got stimulated. I do deep breathing exercises to relax myself before sleep....soft meditative music as well.

I can always go another time...get another appt, job etc World War 3 wont break out. In my former self I was the most reliable person, however now I notice around me that people cancel stuff ALL the time so I can be a"canceller" too....takes the angst out of it. Now I am at the stage of my life where I want to be a rebellious geriatric to rid myself of having been too responsible.

[lili2701]

thank you for your reply!!
Yes the gupta approach is really good for this and also thinking that tomorrow doesn't exist yet and that every thought running into my mind will have an impact on what will happen and that fear attracts fear but sometimes it's the stress, the feeling i have inside cos i'll try thinking positively but the fear will still be stuck in my guts. I'm scared this time cos I've been worse lately and someone I know asked me to look after his kid two days a week from 8am till 3pm and I really don't mind as long as I feel ok, I've explained I'm ill and thus unemployed but I don't think they understand I'm not that fit to look after a kid but they're quite hopeless (their kid cant go to school because he's got a weak immune system and catch everything if at school, nearly died last year) and his family did a lot for me so I thought I couldn't refuse and anyway I didn't sleep ok the night before so nI felt crap all day when looking after him and they don't even have the telly so I can't say ok I put him for an hour before a good disney movie, I have to paint, draw, play with him all that time and it sounds ridiculous but when I'm that exhausted (and u all know what I'm talking about) even drawing is torture! So now I'm scared not to be able to sleep, I'm already anticipating and that drives me mad because I had stress far worse than this before when I had to work and had a contract and couldn't say I'm not going to work or whatever so.. but the less u work, the harder and more stressful it is when u have to go back on track!

I'll try the soften and flow, it's helped me in the past, I know conscously that it's stupid but it's my amygdala being hyper!

Thanks for helping!!! It's good to know other people can understand!

[Shorty]

I suffer from insomnia too and at times i go through cycles where i have panic attacks about not being able to sleep. Ill be sooo tired before bed but as soon as i lie there ill either be wide awake or my heart starts beating out of control and my breathing is ridiculous. I have tried breathing techniques but am finding it really difficult at times. Glad to see I'm not the only one..

[lili2701]

there are so many different kinds of insomnias. some people can't sleep because they just think too much, others fall asleep but wake up in the night, and then others are anxious not to be able to fall asleep, like us!

Before I was ill, it wasn't a real issue because I would be tired but that was ok but now it's just unbearable and that's why I'm anxious. The question we have to ask ourselves is "what would happen if I dont sleep?" ok i will feel bad to do this or that, so I cancel, and "what will happel if i cancel?" the answer could be-people will judge me, they'll think i'm weak/lazy or whatever, it can be anything.

the point for me is the issue is not cancelling but the fact that it's controlling my life. it's self-sabotage. and the problem is that sleeping pills dont work really or make me worse. and the more I have plans the more I'm stressed out not to be able to make it because I feel crap. and the less people understand, the more stressed I feel of course. but now i've got to the point that I dont care anymore if people don't understand, they're just then not worth it, right?

[StarDust]

Before being ill, I was insomniac every time I had to work because I had to get up very early. When I started feeling exhausted, the insomnias worsened because I was scared not to sleep and feel even worse. Now whenever I have to do sthg important, I'm scared not to sleep resulting in not sleeping and feeling so bad I almost have to cancel what I have to do

totally the same for me!
when i got something to do the next morning i know if i sleep anything less than 8 hours it will be a living hell so it's like I try so hard to get asleep that I actually don't get asleep, yea..
I've gotten a lil better lately though

[neil25]

yeah thats the same as me, ive found noctura pills help these are natural homeopathic sleeping remedies. They slowly put me to sleep, although there is some nights where i just cant get to sleep no matter what i do. the insomina is horrible. I found that reading a book in bed helps me drift off to sleep easier or even doing gupta soften and flow.

[alicewoolf]

Lili2701 your post really struck a chord with me. Its EXACTLY what happens to me if I have something to do the next day. i get into a terrible panic and start thinking of all the times when I haven't slept and felt awful. Regular meditation helps hugely as does deep breathing as I see many people have suggested here. I repeat some sort of mantra over and over in my head such as: Let it go, or what happens happens. Fear is one of the worst things about this illness and its such a vicious circle. Remember you're definitely not alone. hope things improve for you.

[lili2701]

hello!
it's good to see others understand!!
but i guess it's natural feeling anxious as we feel crap when sleeping normally!
yesterday i had to wake up early and as a results I slept really badly and had to look after a 3 year old all day, god i was so exhausted and I have to do that twice a week! i said yes and feel i can't refuse.. I'll try to rest as much as possible in between but i didnt refuse because i have to learn to sleep even when i have sthg the following day, it's a kind of training for me and i know i can do it!

yeah EFT helps I think but to make it work we have to practise it every day, i know it's frustrating but think that we've been feeling like this for a long time, so it's normal it takes time for our brain to rethink.. or was it in the other thread we talked about that? ok i'll go there now..





















































































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[Jeffy14]

Hello,

I have had the same problem.
When I was working full time, I could not find sleep on Sunday nights... It takes me 4 hours to fall asleep and once I sleep it's not a real sleep, I'm half awake and sweat a lot.
It was horrible because it would destroy my entire week. I slept fine during the week because I'm so exhausted from this night.
Then, I became so anxious about this Sunday night and the week coming that I was feeding this fear. A vicious circle.
Something that really helped me is Lysanxia (that's the french name of the drug). It's an anxiolytic, not a sleeping pill. It worked great, it does not give you the best sleep but It really calms you down. The name of the molecule is Prazepam.
Also, something that really helped me for a while was mediation (without any drugs). Twice I was able to calm me down so much that I was like disconnected from my body. I cant describe it, it was an amazing experience. I slept like a baby those times. I was not able to reproduce it a third time afterward, probably bad focus, I had a huge pain in my leg for months and months that prevented me to meditate correctly + too much stress and I decreased my time meditating which was a mistake.

[lili2701]

yeah thats exactly what happened to me too! sundays were worse for me as well but even during the week it was hard, i was so exhausted though, i dont understand how my body was still awake.

meditation does work!

i know lysanxia, I took that as well, it helps relaxing the muscles!

[CS1]

I have a feeling that the accelerator will help you alongside the AR programme

[lili2701]

great cant wait then hope theyll be available soon!
did the meditation this morning but stopped after 15 minutes, oh well its better than nothing i suppose considering that my amygdala is on extreemely high alert at the moment.

[alicewoolf]

I know this is going to sound simplistic Lili, but the thing that really worked for me as regards insomnia (and trust me I have suffered periods of really bad insomnia), was to say I actually don't care if I sleep or not, if I feel bad tomorrow, if I have to cancel... I know it's hard but as soon as you take away that worry and fear, BINGO you really start sleeping well. I had to do something as I spent years being frightened and distressed at the idea of not sleeping. and i just couldn't carry on with that. Now I go to bed KNOWING I'll sleep and I've been sleeping well ever since.

[niaholt]

Same here Alice.......just dont care and your body relaxes. Meditate on the fact that "nothing matters" appts...dates etc can all be canceled. Change the focus from "I must be at" to "so what I cant make it....I dont care"