Update - better than ever, but some work to go

[gy1]

Hi everyone, it's been over four month since my last post, but I wanted to take a few minutes to write an update in the hope that it might offer encouragement to others who are fighting the good battle against CFS.

I won't get into detail on my past history with CFS in this thread, however you can read everything here if you are interested:

chronic-fatigue-syndrome-f1/topic1516.html

At the time that post was written, I had stated that I was about 80% back to normal. Five months later, I would now say that I am up to 90%.

It hasn't been a straight up direction, there have been plenty of missteps, wrong turns, and dead-ends. But every battle won, gets me one step closer to normal.

Actually in some areas in my life, I am actually better than ever, even before CFS.

Surprisingly the one area where I am doing my best is my physical health. Even before CFS I've tended to get sick often.

It's been several month since the last time I got a cold or flu. But even more amazing is my physical activity.

About a month ago, I left the USA again to continue my travels. In my new home I came across an Austrian who looks like a mini version of Arnold Schwarzenegger. This man is built like a refrigerator.

He invited me to join him at the gym a few times. I kept thanking him, but turning down his offers. He good naturedly started teasing me every time I saw him that he was older than me and that I had no good excuse for not hitting the weights (he doesn't know that I have CFS, and I never told him.)

To make a long story short, I finally took him up on his offer and joined him at the gym. The first week of this, every time I returned from the gym I literally went to my bed and collapsed.

After a month, I am probably in the best physical shape of my life. Four days a week we go to the gym, and I'm lifting more weight than at any time in my life. Not only that, but after returning home from the gym, I have more energy than before I left my apartment.

I hope I don't sound silly, but I actually have a tear coming down my face while I am writing this. Two years ago, when I was in bed for 6 months, the thought that I would be traveling in foreign countries, walking 4 miles every morning, and then lifting weights (more weights than I've ever been able to lift) in the evening would have sounded like a cruel joke.

But that's exactly what I'm doing.

I'm still not at 100%, but I'm working on it. I still have IBS, though I can control it with careful diet.

And I'm finding that I've accumulated a great number of fears and negative thoughts over the last few years that I've been dealing with CFS.

My energy has returned, and there are so many things that I want to do, goals that I want to achieve, but I also found that I'm afraid to take chances and follow my dreams. This is really strange for me, as before in life I've thrived on risk and had always pursued my dreams - didn't always succeed, but always gave it my all.

Now, I'm fighting these demons. I'm still not exactly sure when my mind went from being my greatest cheerleader, to being this overcautious, frightened wimp.

But this is where I am. My action plan is to face each one of my mental demons and exorcise them. I'd be a liar if I said it with an easy battle, but it isn't. But then again, neither were any of the steps to recovery.

Once I get my mind working as my cheerleader again, then it will be time to tackle IBS, though I have a very strong feeling that once I have completely purged and purified my mind and soul, the IBS thing will take care of itself (I've had several other auto-immune diseases, which have now been eliminated).

My final goal is to be better in every area of my life than before CFS hit me. At one time I wanted to be as good as I was before CFS. I've realized that's not a worthy enough goal to light the fire under my butt. Now my goal is to be BETTER than at ANY time in my life.

So friends, where ever you are in your recovery - keep fighting! It's a loooong battle, but as long as you keep fixing your life one piece at a time, eventually you will see the light of day, and who knows, you may even decide that being as good as you were before CFS is not good enough. You might even shoot at the moon and aim to be the best you've ever been!

Love, joy, and peace to everyone.

GY

[Jeffy14]

thx for the post!

[CS1]

Remission is possible foe those who have had cfs for a short period.


Exercise ( body work ) is important perhaps later on for most, when they have calmed their minds

[neil25]

I can relate to you that exercise is great, i also lift weights in the gym quite light ones but still it strengthens my muscles. The crazy thing is that after a long time of going to the gym u start not to relapse and it actually helps with energy instead of makin u feel rotten which i know is crazy but its true.

[Jeffy14]

guys but how did you start weights and exercise?
I mean how did you start exercise?
You started aerobic? anaerobic?
I read many programs of exercise where they say start at like 10 min everyday and increase every week by 10%. Once you reach 30min of daily walks, keep increasing time by 10% and increase the intensity (using a heart rate monitor, you increase heart beats by 10% each weeks).
Once you are at 1h you can reduce the volume and start muscle exercise with body weights or low weights.
What do you think of it?
How did you do it?
Thanks guys

[Wynton]

Hey gy,

Your story is fantastic and I'm so happy for you!

I can definitely relate to those mental demons you have referred to. I am not far along the path to recovery - only just recently I decided I have CFS. But already I have noticed my mental patterns have changed. I think CFS is the culprit. It used to be that I would have a seed of an idea in my head, I would seize upon this idea, no matter how crazy, carry it to completion, and it would turn out well every time. Therefore naturally my success reinforced my conficence which led to more successes. But over the two years I've had CFS this pattern has been completely reversed. It seems like I never do anything well anymore, or at least as far as my conception of the word "well" goes. Although I am now at home now with a relatively inactive life, focusing on recovery, whenever an opportunity presents itself for me to take the initiative and tackle a problem on my own, I'm much more hesitant than I used to be. I'm afraid of the failure that has characterized my life over the past few years.

My suspicion is, if you do have your old self 90% back, you will start to experience the same success that fed your confidence and ambition back in the day.

Jeffy - I have had trouble as well getting myself started with an exercise program. Like many with CFS, I used to be fit, and when it struck I clung on desperately to my fitness. I exercised quite frequently, which was a source of considerable pain for me - both physically, since I overdid things and made myself feel worse, and mentally, as it crushed me to see my strength decline no matter how hard I tried. And no matter how many times I went to the gym, I still got worse, so naturally I hate the gym now.

You may not have access to this resource, but what my parents have done for me is to hire a personal trainer. I simply have to go to his office and do what he tells me to do, or as much of it as I have the energy for. This helps take the guesswork out of my activity. Also, something that helps me psychologically is to let myself be as lazy as I want after my session - and sometimes the next day - since I've earned it, and also I want to be adequately rested. A small bonus

Otherwise, if you have an exercise plan like the 10% one you gave, my advice would be to just use it and stick to it. That way, if it didn't work, at least you tried. But I have confidence that it'll help. Plus, I think it is important to give yourself physical goals that you can complete, and feel good about your victories.

I'm getting tired, but I hope all that makes sense! Good luck with everything