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Partner with CFS

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Partner with CFS

Postby Aimi » Tue Apr 26, 2011 2:05 am

Hi there,

I have a rather vague question which I need help with, if you will.

My partner has CFS, what can I do to help her through/with this?
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Re: Partner with CFS

Postby *Emerald* » Tue Apr 26, 2011 4:17 am

Hi, sorry to hear your partner has cfs. In my opinion the best thing to do is trust her, believe in her illness and never use her illness to hurt her in disagreements. I had a partner with this illness who would tell me I wasnt ill just lazy and that was worse than other people saying it. He was with me night and day, and I trusted him completely yet he used my illness to hurt me. The illness is soul destroying, its a huge struggle to come to terms with getting ill yet on top of this we have to deal with other peoples lack of belief in the illness. People dont understand cfs and so for many it is labelled all in the mind. Thats not much help for anyone crippled by the illness. Just be a good partner, friend and carer, that is all your girlfriend needs
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Re: Partner with CFS

Postby Aimi » Tue Apr 26, 2011 4:57 am

She told me to push her, not be exactly hard on her, but give her a push.. I would rather give incentive.

I have suffered chronic depression and ended up in a bad state earlier in life, much akin to CFS.

I need to find out the barriers and limits, she is rather, ambiguous with that kinda thing and I don't want to hurt her.
Aimi
 
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Re: Partner with CFS

Postby *Emerald* » Tue Apr 26, 2011 12:55 pm

Maybe your girlfriend says push her because without you pushing, she knows she is too ill to do things, and so will stay at home. She must take control of her own illness, because you cant possibly know when her body is screaming stop, and if she tells you she is alright at this point she is going to cause serious long term set backs For herself. Much control of life is taken from us when we have cfs, yet pacing is one of the things we can control completely. Most of us will push beyond that boundary just for the hell of it, thats another area we can learn to control when we are ready. It sounds to me like you are a strong couple who will get thru this nightmare just fine :-)
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