by spring » Sun Oct 11, 2009 12:06 pm
Emerald I am so sorry to hear of your loss.
My Dad's funeral was two days ago and I got through it, with a break of two hours in the middle of the wake, where I went and did S&F through three! times in a row and just rested. When I went back to the wake I was able to cope again.
Yesterday, when it was all over and family and friends had left, was horrible mentally and emotionally as you would expect but I was ok physically, I have no big physical repercussions from the days of full on stress, grief and action.
Through-out I kept up my Stops, in fact did more than usual and did more S&F. Of course there were hours on the day of the funeral when I didn't do anything.
I have found at other times that increasing Stops has an instant affect over the next fews days for me and it seemed to do so through this situation too.
I renewed my efforts three weeks ago with the whole Gupta Programme, watching the videos through again and re-committing myself to a good Stops routine. It has really paid off and I'm sure helped me get through this horrible week better than I would have. It also means that I am now able to do what I feel is a strong Stop routine in my head when I can't get away to do the full routine and I think that is really paying off.
Of course this is only the beginning of learning to live without my Dad....
[quote="emerald"]Im shocked, angry, started suffering immediate chest, neck and
arm pain - and im in pieces today. I had a very upsetting morning
fearing i was having a heart attack or would if i couldnt calm down.
i was feeling palpitations and dizziness too.
I lay on the bed and listened to the Visualisation and then to the
gupta medi. i managed to sleep and feel a little calmer now, even
tho im feeling fragile. [/quote]
Emerald this and some of my other 'sensitive' symptoms came back with a vengeance in the days from when Dad died up to the funeral. I used lots of S&F and constant Stops which helped especially my chest tightness, palpitations and all those scary things.
I was very scared about what the effects of the situation would be on the CFS and kind of resigned myself to a big dip and set-back after the funeral.
After the first day of gathering with family I stayed home for the next two days prior to the funeral and basically did nothing but rested and S&F and lots of Stops. It was very hard to not be part of that pre-funeral period, I had to let go being any part of the organisation (hard for the oldest in the family!) but I balanced that frustration with thankfulness I was well enough to be part of anything at all. My brothers and sisters would check in with me every now and then to see if I was happy with the arrangements so far and that helped me not feel too left out.
I also have to accept missing seeing many family visiting from far away by missing those two days and a big chunk in the middle of the wake. That's something I need to come to terms with yet.
Overall though, I have got through ok so I hope my story can alleviate some fear for people in this situation. The feeling of surging adrenaline, the rush back of symptoms, the fear of those symptoms and the medium term consequences and the fear of facing the funeral were all horrible but lots of S&F helped calm the immediate reaction and I'm sure the extra Stops paid off too as time progressed. (My mind was racing too much to do S&F properly but I found my body calmed itself down anyway by just listening to Ashok's calm voice and occasionally pulling my thoughts back from elsewhere. I usually did it two times in a row each time).
I also listened to some of the DVD programme on dips and motivation and that helped me stay in the rhythm. Gupta metioned situations where the adrenaline cycle is in full swing which helped me understand what was happening and therefore calm it down.
I also visualised a lot some vague time in a few weeks where I would be ok.
All the best to all who are dealing with a crisis, you will get through.
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