Really bad dip at the moment

[neil_l]

About a month ago, I got a really bad sickness bug which laid me (and a lot of my colleagues) out for a week.

However, it's a month later and I'm still not feeling that much better. I've gone from being fairly fit - walk 3 miles a day up and down hills with the dog, play with my band for two hours - to becoming quickly tired and struggling to do anything. For instance I can only play my guitar for 30 minutes before my arm turns to jelly. The loss of muscle condition has been instant - one week: able to do lots. next week: struggling to walk 200yards

I'm also having real indigestion problems, and getting very tired after eating. My stomach doesn't seem to be functioningas well as it should

To be honest I'm finding the trust part of Gupta hard now. I've been on the programme for 11 months now and not seen a lot of benefits. The STOP technique does help when I'm getting panicky about being in certain situations - I was out at a very busy gig on Saturday and feeling pretty rotten with no where to sit down, but the STOP really helped me to avert a panic attack that would have left me a nervous wreck a year ago.

I suppose I've probably got some kind of post viral fatigue which I'm over-reacting too. It's just difficult to see yourself take such a massive step back towards the abyss of full blown CFS

I'd say I've gone from an 80% person with an active life, to 50% still with the same active life and am consequently really struggling.

Oh and I'm playing a gig tomorrow, which hasn't been stressing me out, but is starting to today.

This illness can be a real PITA sometimes!

[*Emerald*]

Hi Neil,

Im on a dip too for the past month, and my friend has been too.
Must be something in the m.e air

Like you im struggling with my muscles, to the extent of having tremors
back. My tummy has been bloated and im feeling so nauseas after food.
Im feeling really exhausted again and my sinuses are giving me hell..
Ive stepped up the gupta again, cos also like you, my anxiety/panic symptoms
have been much better - yet tonite im bordering on an attack (which im trying
to control)

Ive been on the gupta since may 2008 and yes, the trust thing does rear its
ugly head once in a while. The reality for me is that i have been ill since
aug 1996 and i cant expect to be well in a flash (if only, huh) How long have you
been ill?

How did the gig go?
Hope you managed better than you expected.

[neil_l]

The gig went well, and did wonders for my confidence which in turn has started me on feeling better again

I had let the STOPs lapse so I have stepped up the Gupta program and started watching the sessions again. It's amazing how much of the finer detail you forget. That is also helping.

Muscles feeling better, but my playing arm is still not right. Maybe I pulled a muscle in it.

I have been ill with CFS since about 96 too, but ill with chronic IBS for 3 years up to the CFS. Been doing Gupta since Dec 08

In the last 2 weeks I have been to 3 gigs (in Newcastle, Edinburgh and Manchester), played one gig and worked full time. And if I can do all this in a dip I can do anything...

It's amazing how the brain will just block the "trust" sometimes. I really got bogged down in negative thoughts when I had the stomach bug. When I wasn't well after a week I went straight back into all the old thought patterns - wondering if I was ill because of ME, or what I'm eating, was I falling back into ME again, and over-analysing everything. In fact I can see all that in my first post above.

[niaholt]

Hi Neil,
So glad the gigs went well in a dip....that is so amazing and you "survived" ...what a boost to your confidence.!!!! I am just coming out of a very bad dip due to an infection I tried to fight without drugs and it got completely away on me for over a month. I just seem in the last 6 wks surrendered to my old negative self as I was just too ill to concentrate on anything but staying alive.

However on Friday I realized that when a family issue upset me so terribly, I just had to do this program for life as there was no way out but to keep my thinking on the Gupta track whether his program works for me or not because my thoughts were driving me insane......what if ...what if...what is going to happen to me when....... A new illness can just throw a spanner int he works .

Like you, all trust seemed to fly out the window while I was confused which part was infection and which part was CFS. I seemed to just get swallowed up in the whole thing. I realized out of all of this that I had concentrated too hard on the program having it in my mind all the time thinking ...I must do meditation now ...I must do Stop now.........People like CS go to work and dont have the time to do what I do and yet improve so I am not going to concentrate so much on it now......just try to live my life and relax more.

[neil_l]

Ironically, the lack of trust and the dip and coming out of it using the program has helped me realise a lot about the AR techniques and I feel stronger and more relaxed about it all now.

Maybe that is why we need dips before we recover?

[annie]

i too really relate to this post. i seem to be back to where i was before i started gupta in july '08. i have had external worries and difficulties but have been disappointed how badly they have affected me.
like others i have really let the a.t go. it didn't seem to be helping at all, so i lost all faith and hope around it.
i am delighted that you are coming out of your dip neil, that is brilliant.
i need a stimulus package from ashok!! i see that he used to post on this forum quite often, does anyone know when and why he stopped, it would be so nice to get a boost.
i wonder whether to start watching the d.v.d's again or just to accept that it does not work for me. if there is anyone with any positive stories about this sort of thing out there, i would really appreciate it.

[neil_l]

Hi Annie.

The following helped me:

Session 12. Then Session 4 the next day.

And the most important information that I personally got from those sessions was that I am breaking the pattern where my brain is constantly wondering what is causing my symptoms, what I can do to stop them and why I have started feeling bad again. I needed to stop my brain constantly thinking about being ill.

It does work.

[annie]

thank you so much neil, i will have a go at what you suggest. it makes perfect sense. hope you continue to improve.