May I introduce myself first? I am a 52 year old woman, first dx'd with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (15 years ago) - then Fibromyalgia (10 years) , finally Rheumatoid Arthritis (7 years) plus Sjogrens (recently). All with similar symptoms, all severe at this point in time. I am a wife (30+ years) and mother of grown children.
My mother had all the illnesses above, in addition to manic depression (Bipolar). My father was a gentle - nurturing man and a very kind father, but a functioning alcoholic, he had severe Post Traumatic Distress Disorder from WWII. So none of us kids wished to upset him. With his drinking, he'd drive himself home drunk. My mother would yell at him, telling him she'd leave him without taking me. I was a victim of mother neglect and extreme sibling abuse (of all sorts).
I had several friends, but they would complain that I was far too sensitive. I could not hang out with them into the night. I needed to be in bed literally by 9 pm then - which none of them would believe. As I grew older, I was active in gymnastics, but had a terrible fall - which involved a neck injury. After that, I could not tolerate kids horsing around, bumping me or slapping me on the shoulder. In fact I hated to be startled - it was literally painful. Does anyone else have this problem?
To this day, my own kids and husband think it's funny to startle me (so easily). I get angry and they tease me that I am making too much out of it. It affects my relationship with my spouse, as I deal with chronic pain. I am better in the mornings, but by 3pm, I am a mess. I can't come within 3 ft of another person - fearing they will touch me. I do take Neurontin and Cymbalta, to keep me sane. I am up to the maximum dose for the Neurontin, my insurance allows (800 mg 3 x day), which barely does enough. I no longer can sleep on my own, I must take Ambien to keep asleep.
My husband yells at me, in frustration, when I cannot function. He insists it's all me, as if I am faking. Logically he knows I am not, but he feels at times, he "one-man band" holding down a small business and our household together. This is NOT true! I keep the books, the inventory and do all the ordering from home! When I crash - I crash and burn; sometimes to the point that I don't think I can continue living. Gupta's explanation in an email was very comforting.
My husband claims he doesn't yell at me, but he does. I have one daughter that's the same, but she's like him on steroids, when she doesn't get her way. We've gone through counseling, but they can be very charming, insisting it's just me; I am far too sensitive. I can't deal with it anymore, I recently moved my husbands things into the spare room. I receive small sum of disability, but could not be able to support myself on my own - yet I am living on my very last nerve. This is why I purchased the programme.
Does anyone else have a similar extreme "startle" response?
Warmly,
Sharon Anne
P.S. This is my first post, with my intro, I don't plan on being as lengthy with future posts.
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