Learnings

[dmbaken]

Hi

I thought it would be good for us to not only share our questions and successes/failures but also our learnings. SO I thought I could start.

Our girls (12 and 16) both really struggled to find things that they should use the AR with. I think this is partly age and partly becasue they use blocking out negative thoughts to survive. The problem with this is, as I understand the theory, that much of this is often happening at the subconscious level rather than the conscious but is still having the impact on the amygdala. Therefore my wife suggested that initially every hour they choose one of the things on the sheet and do the full AR process. This was whether they were thinking it at the time or not. This reduced from every hour but they also started to see those things in themselves as they practiced it. This has really helped them.

MA also always makes sure that she (and the girls) always do the full AR at least three times a day.

Many of you may be doing this anyway but just in case some are not I hope this helps.

If others have found particular things that have helped them then I would love to hear about them

Kind regards

Don

[niaholt]

Hi Don,
I am so glad you decided to start this conversation on "problem solving" It has come at the right time for me as I am in a hole at the moment and cant get out. Initially when I started the prog in Sept I did use the sheet for negative ideas. I would save them upand do them at the end of the day which was naughty and thru the day I would not do the full prog....tooo busy. After my disappointing trip to Sydney 1 1/2 hrs away, I came home extremely tired unable to sleep. Also I had a month of personal trauma. I fell of the prog in Nov quite a bit but i kept up with 2 hrs meditation a day. I sort of just did the prog when I had a negative thought but not the full prog.
I know if I do too much my sleep gets affected. first...... very disturbed. However that was 5 wks ago and the sleep is getting worse and I find I cant now have any contact with my children or friends for 10 mins or talk to anyone outside. I have locked myself up the last few weeks trying to limit all people contact. However watching the DVDs again where Ashok says distract yourself and go about your normal life.

Yesterday I thought I would try that because limiting myself would let the Amygdala think ..Yes there is definitely something wrong with my body. I took a drive in the car. I stopped at a lodging house to drop something in to a lovely 40 yr old male CFS person who has NO ONE. I walked into that place and immediately felt sad as it was like an institution, jail with not even a community lounge just rows of doors. Just popped a letter under his door.

Throughout the day I thought about his loss of life. I did the full program all dayand fel fien except for tiredness. I rested all day and took a quiet walk to the beach. RESULT No sleep last night....worst night ever. I am confused. If I stay locked in I constantly think of my situation ...if I try to go outside here in our complex some one wants to talk to me.
I am now back to the beginning and think I will do what your family is doing Don and do the Prog from the sheet and do one every hour. I believe maybe that lodging house did something to my brain as we know how th subscious mind thinks

Aside from this in the previous months I had 2 episodes of distress in public. Once in conversation with someone at a shopping centre and I did the prog and magically the panic in my gut went. The 2nd time was in Sydney when I had just made a beautiful meal. I felt so ill and did not think I could serve with the weird symptoms. I went to a window and looked out at some lovely gum trees and did "soften and flow" "stop stop stop" 5 mins later there was nothing wrong with me. I had these symptoms all afternoon but somehow did not think to do the prog being in someone elses house threw me. I have evidence that this prog works after that. This brain definitely malfunctions it is plain obvious...

Cheers
Nia
Now I just have to get out of this hole. Sorry if this is drawn out

[kenvj]

I think this type of sharing is very positive and can only help - far better than some of the negative stuff we've had lately.
Other than fatigue, both daytime sleepiness and physical fatigue, my big problem is tension and I know that the fatigue is directly involved with the tension. Both the meditation and the "Soften and Flow" help a great deal here but Ashok asks us to do the main AR when we notice tension in the body as well as negative thoughts "even if that means doing the AR hundreds of times a day" I find that I need to do the AR many many times a day. I also use the Soften and Flow quite a lot.
I was one of those people who had a really good response to the program almost straight away, after 3 months I felt like I didn't have cfs any more but just felt like a somewhat unfit 74 year old and I think I went on to overdo things and that affected me.
I have recently suffered a very big "Dip", I went backwards badly and this dip was directly attributable to a period of intense tension (mostly caused by a seperate unrelated health problem). I increased my use of all the techniques, especially Soften and Flow and now I am begining to pick up again and that feels good.
I believe very strongly in this program, I am sure Ashok got it right! The amygdala is the source of the problem. Whether or not I will ever become fully well I simply don't know - but I do know that I am better off with the program than without.
I'd like to see more people post their experiences here.
Cheers Ken

[dmbaken]

Hi Niaholt

I am so sorry that it has not been smooth for you. Because I don't do the programme myself its hard for me to offer much advice. MA tells me that the closer she keeps to the programme the better she is - its seems its easy to move away from it as things get better. I am sure there are people who are using the program who can offer advice tho. One of the problems is that when people get better they tend to leave these type of sites.

I will try and talk my wife into coming on here once or twice as she is doing great (but does not like the computer).

Ken and I hand Ken and my wife have had phone contact which I think has been helpful. If you think that may help you Niaholt then contact me and we will arrange it (I asked MA and she said that she would be happy to).

Kind regards

The beach is calling

Don

[niaholt]

Ken,
When I read that you might have to do the AR maybe 100 times a day I jumped off the bed. Quite seriously I am sooo tired I cant even get the AR words out today and I said to my husband..Maybe I should tape myself and keep playing it over and over again all day. I know I feel better if I put the movie on " The Secret" as it talks positive stuff to me and therefore I am more enthusiastic with believing in the program. I have l aways believed my problem was in my brain...not a virus. For exmple I could stay in this complex at a BBQ for 5 hrs with a crowd...no problems. Go 1/2 km in my own street to lunch with a friend for 2hrs and am wiped out the next day. What does that say....I felt safe in my own surroundings...Amygdala was not screaming out that I was under threat. I could never understand this until I saw Ashoks DVD. I am determined to work on this theory as it fits what I have believed for soo long.

Nia

[niaholt]

Hi Don,
Many thanks for your kind offer of assistance in offering to talk with me. The reason groups like AA are so successful is because of the sharing within the group of their program and the difficulties or successes they are having to keep sober. They have been more successful than any psychiatrist or psychologist in getting people to stop drinking. They have a camaraderie amongst them to encourage each other on in difficult times.( I am not an alcoholic) I think the net is just amazing in bringing people together in a similar manner to share, easing isolation and educating us when we face a medical profession bereft of ideas in treating our problem. I will keep your offer and take it up when I feel I am getting frustrated. Already this week end you have given me such hope both of you men to continue on with Ashoks program.

Cheers
Nia

[kenvj]

Hi Nia, I think I've probably exceeded 100 times with the AR today but I must tell you that at lot of those have been the short version of the AR done in the head which only takes a few seconds. I also use a my own shorter version of the full AR quite a lot. I've had a much much better day to day, I'm back on the upward track I'm pleased to say.
Stick with it Nia, you'll win in the end.
Ken

[damask-rose]

I like this thread!

I have a question: in the DVDs, Ashok says it only takes 20 seconds to do the main AR routine, but I've never been able to see how it can take such a short time. Just saying all the words and moving into the different positions takes me longer than that, and the end bit, where you have to visualise being healthy and how that feels in the body, takes the most time for me. How about y'all?

[dmbaken]

Memask rose

From observing MA I would think that you are right. But even after doing all the AR's and the meditation and the soften and flow she still has much more active time to live life - so there is definate paybacl.

MA says that she could do it 30 times a day or 30 times in a night. It seems to give more energy so that makes it possible to do (i.e. it must seem impossible to do it 100 times what you are lying in bed struggling to feed yourself).

Another point of note is that MA has been surprised to find that she has to do the AR even after enjoyable activities (I suppose it is becasue they also get the adrenaline going).

Ken, it is great to hear that you are on the improve again.

Kind regards

Don

[kenvj]

Hi Demask Rose - yes I agree, you would have to be motoring to do it in 20 seconds. I just timed myself doing the full AR aloud and with the visualisation it took me 35 seconds and I wasn't wasting any time. But still - whats 35 seconds out of a day? I use the shorter version quite a lot too.

[JR]

I've sort of developed my own method for dealing with any symptoms that seem amygdala related. Have others? Sometimes I do a brief "stop, stop, stop", but often it's helpful to just be aware of what is happening and say, in my mind, "I'm not doing that" or "oh, I'm fine". Then I redirect my focus. I often think of the part of Ashok's DVD where he talks about the guy who gets stressed when his boss gives him an assignment. He says that as soon as the guy says "oh, it's alright, I'll get it done", he starts retraining his amygdala. Sometimes I wonder if I should be getting back to the "official" technique, but since I continue to improve, I don't worry about it too much.

I'm at about 11 months now, and have gone, during that time, from completely bedbound, unable to get to the bathroom or feed myself, to driving some, doing laundry, cooking, going out to restaurants, etc. I still feel my amygdala affecting me negatively, but it's grip is so much looser than it used to be. I see no reason that I won't continue to get stronger and stronger. It's great to hear from so many others on this board about their experiences!

[niaholt]

Hi All,
Yes I agree it does take longer than what Ashok said. I too get stuck on when I have to visualise being healthy and strong. You reallllly have to think hard here and it is a very long time ago for me. I do know I position myself to think I am very strong and I see myself swinging through trees like a monkey and running very fast believing I must have done all that in my former life. That exhilarates me.
I realise now I must do more ARs and I am so grateful to know that. Today I have felt too ill to do any until now as I took 5htp for sleep and it made me so sick all day. Back on top tomorrow. I think doing it in your head is important and works well too. I think I read of someone in a wheelchair who did it without footwork and she is better. Doing a combination I guess is the key. I have put humour into my future self and shake my finger at my present self and that makes me enjoy it more. This program is not for the faint hearted, it takes work. Also when i get these random negative thoughts out of the blue I get shocked how stupid they are so I tell them to get lost in sometimes unsavoury language. Then I roar laughing and my husband does too as it just comes out of a nice quiet moment we might be sharing and he gets a shock and so do I.
Cheers
Nia

[Carrigan]

Hey

my two cents....


If you're f***ed, just do it in your head. If you're really f***ed just say "STOP STOP STOP!" in your head, doing the in and OUUUUUUT breath.

Every little helps. Ashok pushes the importance of doing the whole program but fact is most of us aren't going to do that for one reason or another, I know I dont. Being very sensitive to the state of my body and mind I make sure that even on my lazy/sick days I still make an effort to keep my mind/body from going into overdrive. The AR is the key for this. If that doesn't work then soften and flow. When I'm not lazy i do the meditation.

There were times on the past where I'd be in overdrive from most of the day, most days of the weeek and that's when the wheels would come off. My making sure I dont stay in that worryworryworryoverexcitementmanicmanicworryhavetosolvethishavetosolvethiswhatifidontwhatificantohnoohno state for any period of time I know Im laying foundations so that when I do work harder at it I wont be having the undo a whole lot of damage from the lazy days.

When in doubt do the AR. I've got it down to 15 secs! I actually have to try to slow it down.

[Emergo]

I put some of my own creativity in the motivation part, by adding EVERY time the words SAFE or SAFETY in the sentences.

For example:"all you have to do is keep breaking these thought patterns, stop thinking about X and know that I am safe with or without these symptoms (or X)".

Works for me, as I found out that a lot of the symptoms really do make me feel unsafe. To be completely honest, it was not feeling safe that caused me to get sick. This made me exaggerate the illness that set this whole CVS in motion and kept the figure 8 going. The unsafe feeling is often stronger than the sick feeling.

I also use it in combination with EFT. That really works for me. Ashok mentions somewhere that when people do not profit or recover using his programme, unresolved emotional matters might be the underlying cause. This is certainly the case for me. I now know how to deal with that and I feel the ARP is working for me too.