Started the Amygdala Program - June 2009

[fox]

Hello All!

I started with Ashok's program yesterday on Thursday, 25th June 2009.

My ME/CFS started on January 2000, and I basically lost 90% of my mental, emotional and physical energy.

On good days I feel very bad and sick.
On bad days I feel like dying.

Of course the symptoms fluctuate, but always around 10% (100% would be total health)

So on a good day I am on 15%.
On a bad day I'm on 5%.

When I feel like dying I am at 1%

0% would be death...

I have tried alot so far, and nearly nothing helped.
The only symptom I basically got nearly totally rid of was Fibromyalgia. In the beginning I suffered additionally to all the other symptoms, of joint-pain as well. I got rid of this with 'magentic-field-therapy'.

With psychedelic substances I enjoyed 'spontaneous healings for a few hours'.

Read about this on my site:

www.cfs-healing.info

[fox]

So, my first impression of the program was:

ALOT of information...I felt overwhelmed...
"How will I ever understand all of this...will my brainfog even allow working with this..?"

Then I watched the videos, and have now completet the CD 2 - Chapter 1.

I understand the 3 x STOP technique, but feel that I will only be able to do the very first part of it. So whatever comes after the 3 Stops, I will have to ingnore for the moment. The problem is brainfog!!

I also noticed that during a great part of the day, there are no thoughts at all (at least not 'word-thoughts in the mind') Hell, ME/CFS makes us so tired and confused, that oftentimes thinking is impossible, isn't it?

So should I focus on the various physical pains and the fear/panic emotions for example?
Wouldn't I just repress theses sensations when I try to 'stop' them??

[damask-rose]

Hello Fox!

You asked if STOPping the sensations is repressing them. I wondered about this at first, but it's not what happens. You don't repress anything, but replace a negative feeling, or thought with a positive one. It's to do with pathways in the brain - what has us stuck in ME is certain neural pathways, so with the STOPing, we're making new, healthier and more helpful pathways in the brain, and cutting off the unhelpful ones.

Everytime we become aware of pain or misery, we are reinforcing that sensation in our brain, so with the AR technique, we want to break that strong impression and make a strong impression of health and happiness instead. As we do this repeatedly, the new impression gains the predominant position, and eventually becomes our automatic way of life.

For me, also, it wants 'thoughts' so much as 'feelings' which I had to stop -any feeling of anxiety, or states of being that were unpleasant. There are subconscious thoughts, or attitudes behind these feelings, but we may not be aware of them.

I think things will become clearer when you're able to do the full STOP technique - just take your time!

[noeshe]

I think what you do with the stop stop stop is stopping your conscious mind to get involved and dissociating. That's also why you step back. You acknowledge the feeling, but don't buy into it.

If it feels like you're repressing or can't capture the negative thoughts, maybe do more of the soften & flow.

I had a look at your website. Wow I hope you don't mind me saying, but you're the typical example of a CVS-patient 'shopping' for health...
I hope that the AR will bring it!

[fox]

Of course I am "shopping for health", if you suffer from the real deal,
ME/CFS
(not just chronic fatigue, post-viral fatigue syndrome, burn out)
then the suffering is so immense, you just try whatever to relieve this unbearable suffering. Of course, most thing don't work at all - in fact they don't even touch the surface of the illness...

Let's see whether this will become another disappointment, or a breakthrough.

[noeshe]

Don't get me wrong, I shopped a lot too (I'm not the kind of person who tries psychedelics though, even not when I'm very very ill). Some stuff did help...a bit...or for a while...Ashok does explain why that is.
Lately I was done shopping though, I was so fed up with everything just not helping, costing a lot, or costing me more energy than it was giving me, that I didn't want to bother at all.
Some of the reasons I bought Ashoks program is that
a. it didn't cost a fortune
b. it didn't involve any pills or weird treatments
c. I didn't have to travel half the country to visit some doctor with a new kind of treatment.

And hey, his explanation makes sense and the techniques help me. What does a person want more

[fox]

Does anybody know whether there is an Art of Living center in Switzerland?
I can't open the specific site on their website, with the international centers,
and they don't answer my emails. (The German center as well as the internationl one.)

[noeshe]

Is this what you're looking for?
http://de.artofliving.ch

[fox]

Yes, that's it, thanks Noeshe, I hope they will reply my email, as it seems, there is no course anymore till 2010..

Some other question: Ashok says, that emotions are simply "energy in motion".
But if that's true, why do we have to soften and 'flow' the emotions? I understand that they are ALREADY in motion,
so they can't be stuck.

Or what did I not get here?

[fox]

Ashok writes:
"I find that for the majority of retrainers, getting the really obvious negative thoughts gets them a certain way better; to get a full recovery, the final bit is to interrupt any conscious "attention on the body" patterns and find engaging activities for the mind. So if your mind goes onto your body at any time, you know what to do now!"

This I find also somewhat confustion:
How can one not pay attention on one's body when it is hurting so much? Should we try to repress the various body-pain symptons?
How to not pay attention to one's brainfog?? Due to my brainfog, it's hard to find out that you're running a wrong pattern, and you should change it...

If my mind does not go onto my body, it automatically goes to my brainfogged mind...
A vicious unsolvable circle?

[noeshe]

[quote="fox"]
Some other question: Ashok says, that emotions are simply "energy in motion".
But if that's true, why do we have to soften and 'flow' the emotions? I understand that they are ALREADY in motion,
so they can't be stuck.
[/quote]
My view:
Emotions become trouble when they are NOT in motion, so stuck somewhere. Then you don't feel them as emotion anymore, but as pain/tension etc. The soften and flow makes them go into motion again.

[fox]

Currently, my symptoms are extreme.
I cannot help but focus on them, the pain and tiredness is too extreme.
Should I try to 'repress' them, or willfully think of something else?
(I guess that won't work anyway..)

Hmm, but what to do? Soften and Flow technique? Wouldn't I focus even more on these painful symptoms?
(There is hardly any thought floating around, so the triple-stop technique is not relevant at the moment.)

And I guess I now have to "pace calmly"...what the hell does that mean when you're feeling extremely bad?
(I guess, not turning on the computer to write this message.....)

[damask-rose]

I know it's very hard when you're overwhelmed by symptoms. I found that the first thing was to "accept" them, and relax into the symptoms as much as possible, rather than resist them. Then to visualise as much as possible what it would feel like to be completely healthy and free from these symptoms. It's hard, but keep at it - even if it takes a long time. Imagine being in a place where you feel completely safe and happy and secure - visualise it with as many of your senses as possible - what can you hear, colours you can see, smells etc. What would it feel like to be completely healthy? It's a sort of meditation, really.

For myself, when I felt very ill, I would sometimes lie on my bed for hours doing this until I began to feel calm and a bit better. And it never failed to make me feel that bit better. It's much better to divert the mind like this than to dwell on the symptoms, because that keeps you feeling unhappy, and that makes you feel worse, and so you're into a vicious cycle.

As for the triple-stop, we're supposed to do it for every feeling of unwellness, as well as every thought - so you could try that and doing a strong visualisation at the end. Every time your mind goes back to your body and the symptoms, do the stops.

Well - don't know if this is of any help, but it worked for me!

[fox]

Thanks for Damaskrose,

however, somehow I don't get it. We should not focus on thoughts, we should also not focus on body-symptoms.

What are we then allowed to focus on? I mean, consciousness is always automatically focused on something!!

[damask-rose]

You're right, we do have to focus on something, so we focus on how we'd [i]like[/i] to feel; visualise it, imagine it, meditate on it. Instead of being locked focussing on all the unpleasantness, be creative and imagine how you'd like it to be instead - in your wildest dreams! And every time your mind comes back to the body, the symptoms, the misery STOP and get back on track. It's [i]very, very [/i]hard at first, but you just have to persist, and gradually it all falls into place. When you're stronger, you can start engaging your mind in actual activities, but if you're not at that stage yet, than just imagine them.

For me, I think it is the hardest thing I've ever had to do - I was so highly anxious and permanently frozen with fear and had no idea whether it would work or not. But I can promise you, that if you tackle it every single time, you'll get better.